In chapter 15 of Liberating Everyday Genius, Mary Elaine Jacobson states that one of the keys to intimacy is the development of an emotionally safe atmosphere in which being fully known and vulnerable is the reasonably expected norm for those of us who have hidden so much of our genuine nature. We open ourselves up to the customary risks of real relating only when we feel safe. Relationships are not a matter of resolve and willpower, but a matter of finding equilibrium – how to care for others and feel cared about in return – without diminishing the character of our Everyday Genius. The stronger our sense of identity and autonomy, and the more skilled we become at setting boundaries, the better we are at allowing ourselves to take risks and explore all avenues of relationship.
